More lemmingness.

[butterfly]

Second Glance
When Justin looked at Lance, he forced himself to forget the inner image that he had always had of Lance in his mind, he let himself see past his memory of that pale, effeminate boy and look at the reality facing him.
Eeep. That's long. Also, it's passive. Damn. It was my first real *nsync fic, though. Still, God, it has no power. "Justin looked at Lance, forcing himself to forget that inner image of a pale, effeminate boy and see the reality facing him." would be much better. Now I want to change it. But I also don't. Because I finished it. Bah. Now I'm conflicted.

The Next Step
Britney just looked at him and he sighed.
Boring. Really boring. But this story is the only really sympathetic and strong Britney that I've written, so there's that.

Sleep
Justin gently ran his finger along the elegantly arched curve of Lance's eyebrow.
I like it. It's one of those images that get stuck in my head. Mmm... the elegantly arched curve of Lance's eyebrow.

A First Kiss
He'd always thought that kissing was overrated.
I think that this one's pretty good. It sets up the idea of the fic, which is how much Lance makes him feel. Plus, I just like the line.

Bitter Thoughts
It'd been an idiotic idea from the beginning.
Not bad. A little awkward, but not bad. Hopefully, it makes people curious.

Babe
Justin was pretty damn sure that he shouldn't be here right now.
I have a serious disconnect going on with this story. It starts out all melodramatic angst and then Brit rambles on about Wade and kissing. And both element are fine on their own, but I don't think that this sentence is right for this story. Fuck.

Every Breath
I can pinpoint the precise instant that I realized that I was in love with you.
So incredibly sappy and romantic. I just adore this line. Plus, it lets you know just what the story is about, love. *happy sigh*

Impossible
She stands there, frozen, hand on the edge of the doorway, mouth still open from when she stopped herself mid-word.
I like it. It sets up her shock. Plus, it places where she is, at the doorway. Sometimes, I'm afraid that my stories all sound like they take place in an empty vacuum.

Not Thinking
Oh, fuck.
I like this. Partially because I don't think that people expect it to be about a blowjob. *snicker* You know, unless they read the description of the story. I am so lame, seriously. Hee.

Dropping Eaves
"I'd fuck him."
Instant interest for most people. Who would fuck who?

Simplicity, Itself
He was certain that he was in love.
Eh, it's okay, but the second line is really what makes that good, I think: He'd gone over his feelings dozens of times, carefully writing out why he thought that he was in love. That's so very Lance.

Not Simple Enough
He watches me whenever he thinks that no one's looking.
Who? What? Why? I seem to like ambiguity sometimes. I don't like it as an opener, really.He used to watch me that way all the time, before I knew what it meant. , would be better, I think, which is the third line. What way? What does it mean? Is this a sex thing?

How It Is
Even though they'd been together for over a year, the heat and feel of Lance's mouth still surprised him.
I like it. It says a lot. However, I do hate the last line of this fic: And that's how it was. It's so unnecessary. Damn, I need to rewrite these.

Not Stupid
"I love you."
Not so good on it's own, but I like it paired with the next line: After a few seconds of silence, Lance cautiously added, "As a good friend." Hee. I love Lance. Angle-man.

Control
When Lance is drunk, he's supple and... not needy, Lance is never needy any more, but... open.
I love this line. Lance. Drunk. Supple and open. Gah. Want.

Wake Up Call
As he slowly drifted out of sleep, Justin became aware of slick heat surrounding his cock.
Eh, I like it, but I wish that I could have found a better way to phrase it.

Perception
The thick smell of hair spray still clung to him and the recently applied lipstick was quickly being destroyed by his own tongue and teeth, but Lance didn't really give a fuck.
I like it. It gives some tribute to a sense I don't use enough and then it makes you wonder why Lance doesn't care. Well, I hope it does that last bit.

Outside
Sometimes Joey envied Justin and Lance.
I love this. It's a summary of the entire snippet. Hee.

Moment by Moment
He couldn't stop touching.
I like it. It's simple, but it works. I think that it helps convey his... helpless feeling.

Needy
And now they had reached the point of no words, just desperate gasps and heavy breathing and so much need that it choked him inside.
I like this. I love opening in the middle of sex. It rocks, man. Sex! Whee! Iamsolame

Empty Bottle
Empty Bottle
If they have sex after Justin drinks, all he has are flashes of memory.
Again, basically a summary of what you're about to hear. I like it.

The Night Before
Soft gasps fill the air as Justin licks down Lance's body.
Sex! Yay! Love the sex!

Next, popgirl stuff and unfinished works.