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butterflyI'm rereading Peter's Evil Overlord list.
My comments in italics.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. Just look at the Mayor. Or rather, the pieces of him.
I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
To keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. It would work for me. There's no way I'd want to help bring down the guy who gives me free access.
I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along. Possibly my favorite. It's just hilarious.
I will instruct my guards when checking a cell that appears empty to look for the chamber pot. If the chamber pot is still there, then the prisoner has escaped and they may enter and search for clues. If the chamber pot is not there, then either the prisoner is perched above the lintel waiting to strike them with it or else he decided to take it as a souvenir (in which case he is obviously deeply disturbed and poses no threat). Either way, there's no point in entering. Or this one might be my favorite. Heh.
My comments in italics.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps. Just look at the Mayor. Or rather, the pieces of him.
I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
To keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access. It would work for me. There's no way I'd want to help bring down the guy who gives me free access.
I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along. Possibly my favorite. It's just hilarious.
I will instruct my guards when checking a cell that appears empty to look for the chamber pot. If the chamber pot is still there, then the prisoner has escaped and they may enter and search for clues. If the chamber pot is not there, then either the prisoner is perched above the lintel waiting to strike them with it or else he decided to take it as a souvenir (in which case he is obviously deeply disturbed and poses no threat). Either way, there's no point in entering. Or this one might be my favorite. Heh.
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(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-12 06:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-12 07:10 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-08-12 07:28 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2002-08-12 07:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-12 07:33 am (UTC)And he's an evil international jewel thief while he's at it.
Hee. :)
Re:
Date: 2002-08-12 07:40 am (UTC)And some would be great ideas for him: "I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set."
They could wear orange! Or not. Heh.
He's already practicing this one: "I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion."
(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-12 07:50 am (UTC)No orange. It makes them look too conspicuous. How about camouflage?
Cheery colors look so bad. Why can't he wear normal but subtle colored clothing to confuse his enemies into thinking he's a civilian and not an evil overlord?
And here's a good one. "Being an expert in martial arts, weaponry, and being practical is a plus."
And, "Faking innocence is harder than it looks."
And how about getting on AIM to go over more ideas?
Re:
Date: 2002-08-12 07:56 am (UTC)Sadly, I must off to Mary's this morning, but I'll be back in three-four hours.
(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-12 08:03 am (UTC)And I have a copy of An Offer From A Gentleman! And I read it too. Now I'm going to read it again, this time replacing the roles with you-know-who. :)