Finding Home:
Jun. 4th, 2003 06:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyFour post-Home drabbles: character exploration.
Some Kind of Peace
There were moments when it might have been fixed. He dreams about them and whenever he wakes up, his words are there, reminding him that some wounds can't be healed.
I love you, Connor. Now get out of my house.
Sometimes, before he can think, he calls out and takes them back.
Stay. Please. Be my son. Don't let her twist you. Don't let me... please stay.
He dies a little for Connor every morning, when he wakes up and greets the dawn from the mocking safety of his necro-tempered glass windows.
When he thinks of what he didn't say.
Gentle Tug
Something is missing. He doesn't know how else to explain his dissatisfaction.
He knows why he's here. He thinks that he knows. He fell in with Lilah and that had... somehow... caused a rift. Caused Angel and the others to reject him.
He knows that, just as he knows that Cordelia had tried to do some horrible things. That she'd brought forth something... evil and powerful, but something that Angel had destroyed.
There's more there, but he can't quite reach it.
Whatever it is, Lilah certainly doesn't want him to know.
Which is reason enough to find out the truth.
Routine
You'd think that being dead would be a good enough reason to stop needing to sign in blood on every important document.
Really, picking her finger enough to bleed had been hard enough when she was alive.
And there was so much more for her to deal with now. They trusted her with things that they wouldn't have let her near before.
It was enough, most days.
Angel was a more... controlling boss than she'd expected. Still, it was worth it.
Especially when she got to make subtle references to Connor with everyone around. She'd always enjoyed seeing Angel off-balance.
The Eye
It was like being on the greatest high in the world. His every sense was at its sharpest. His entire being filled with power and possibility.
Yeah, he couldn't have left this behind for anything.
He spent a lot of time in The Room, just being.
Absorbing everything that was offered.
That this was his... it was the best thing that'd ever happened to him.
Walking felt like flying. Each breath strengthened him, steadied him.
Every moment hummed with pleasure.
He couldn't understand why anyone would ever question the need for this.
Damn, this was worth anything to keep.
Anything.
While I'm here, I'll do the title thing for these.
Some Kind of Peace: Quote from Angelus in Passion. It felt appropriate. Empty rooms, shuttered and dark.
Gentle Tug: Of memory, is what I was thinking. Something subtle but persistent.
Routine: Even when things change, some things stay the same.
The Eye: Of the storm. He doesn't know what he's getting into.
Some Kind of Peace
There were moments when it might have been fixed. He dreams about them and whenever he wakes up, his words are there, reminding him that some wounds can't be healed.
I love you, Connor. Now get out of my house.
Sometimes, before he can think, he calls out and takes them back.
Stay. Please. Be my son. Don't let her twist you. Don't let me... please stay.
He dies a little for Connor every morning, when he wakes up and greets the dawn from the mocking safety of his necro-tempered glass windows.
When he thinks of what he didn't say.
Gentle Tug
Something is missing. He doesn't know how else to explain his dissatisfaction.
He knows why he's here. He thinks that he knows. He fell in with Lilah and that had... somehow... caused a rift. Caused Angel and the others to reject him.
He knows that, just as he knows that Cordelia had tried to do some horrible things. That she'd brought forth something... evil and powerful, but something that Angel had destroyed.
There's more there, but he can't quite reach it.
Whatever it is, Lilah certainly doesn't want him to know.
Which is reason enough to find out the truth.
Routine
You'd think that being dead would be a good enough reason to stop needing to sign in blood on every important document.
Really, picking her finger enough to bleed had been hard enough when she was alive.
And there was so much more for her to deal with now. They trusted her with things that they wouldn't have let her near before.
It was enough, most days.
Angel was a more... controlling boss than she'd expected. Still, it was worth it.
Especially when she got to make subtle references to Connor with everyone around. She'd always enjoyed seeing Angel off-balance.
The Eye
It was like being on the greatest high in the world. His every sense was at its sharpest. His entire being filled with power and possibility.
Yeah, he couldn't have left this behind for anything.
He spent a lot of time in The Room, just being.
Absorbing everything that was offered.
That this was his... it was the best thing that'd ever happened to him.
Walking felt like flying. Each breath strengthened him, steadied him.
Every moment hummed with pleasure.
He couldn't understand why anyone would ever question the need for this.
Damn, this was worth anything to keep.
Anything.
While I'm here, I'll do the title thing for these.
Some Kind of Peace: Quote from Angelus in Passion. It felt appropriate. Empty rooms, shuttered and dark.
Gentle Tug: Of memory, is what I was thinking. Something subtle but persistent.
Routine: Even when things change, some things stay the same.
The Eye: Of the storm. He doesn't know what he's getting into.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Now you've got me sobbing again...
Date: 2003-06-04 09:07 am (UTC)I'm really curious what Wesley will make of his Lilah memories without remembering Connor!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-04 10:08 am (UTC)Re: Now you've got me sobbing again...
Date: 2003-06-04 02:19 pm (UTC)But yes, Connor and Angel are a tragedy on the level of... anything anywhere.
And Wesley's a smart guy. If anyone can make guesses based on lack on knowledge, he's it.
Which sounded a touch like a burn. No! Wes! I love you!
(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-04 02:33 pm (UTC)And yeah, poor Angel. The #1 rule of the Angelverse does seem to be that Angel always suffers.