The State of Me
Aug. 20th, 2003 04:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyI was brought up to be polite.
Not in the 'if you can't say something nice' way but in the 'everyone is a person' way. I always try to remember that everyone has reasons.
No one acts in a void. They were born. They grew up. They had people around them.
Doesn't mean that people don't have choices, because we all do. We can all choose between bitterness and acceptance.
One of the things that therapy taught me is that everyone feels pain. Pain? Is unavoidable. But suffering isn't. Suffering happens when you refuse to accept the pain.
We all hurt, not all of us suffer.
As I write![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
notalexis, I do see a lot of myself in him. He's both healthier and more screwed up than I am. He's never cut but that doesn't mean that he's never acted in a self-destructive manner.
He has issues that I don't have and he's missing issues that I do have. But the underlying feelings are ones that I identify with. This is the Alexis I made. He is from me, like Dawn was made from Buffy.
When I write, I always find pieces of myself in the characters and that's how I identify with them. I don't know another way to write. I have to be able to find myself in them.
Maybe that's why I can identify with people. I treat them like characters or... no, that's the wrong way around. I treat characters like people.
People aren't black and white stick figures. They aren't grey images. They aren't even a million and a half colors on a big-screen tv. Each person is a infinite set of contradictions.
Everyone is fascinating. Everyone is interesting. Everyone has a reason to be the way they are.
I always believed all of that. My biggest problem was always about including myself.
Not in the 'if you can't say something nice' way but in the 'everyone is a person' way. I always try to remember that everyone has reasons.
No one acts in a void. They were born. They grew up. They had people around them.
Doesn't mean that people don't have choices, because we all do. We can all choose between bitterness and acceptance.
One of the things that therapy taught me is that everyone feels pain. Pain? Is unavoidable. But suffering isn't. Suffering happens when you refuse to accept the pain.
We all hurt, not all of us suffer.
As I write
notalexis, I do see a lot of myself in him. He's both healthier and more screwed up than I am. He's never cut but that doesn't mean that he's never acted in a self-destructive manner.He has issues that I don't have and he's missing issues that I do have. But the underlying feelings are ones that I identify with. This is the Alexis I made. He is from me, like Dawn was made from Buffy.
When I write, I always find pieces of myself in the characters and that's how I identify with them. I don't know another way to write. I have to be able to find myself in them.
Maybe that's why I can identify with people. I treat them like characters or... no, that's the wrong way around. I treat characters like people.
People aren't black and white stick figures. They aren't grey images. They aren't even a million and a half colors on a big-screen tv. Each person is a infinite set of contradictions.
Everyone is fascinating. Everyone is interesting. Everyone has a reason to be the way they are.
I always believed all of that. My biggest problem was always about including myself.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-21 08:07 am (UTC)Wow...are we related? This all sounds eerily familiar, you only know how to say it better.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-21 01:19 pm (UTC)And thank you.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:07 am (UTC)That's how I live my life. For so damn long it wass the bitterness...they "why me's?". Then I realized "why not me".
Now I just refuse to let the past get to me anymore. I don't surround myself with buzzkill's and try to be greatful that I'm not in a wheelchair like so many of the people at our center.
**licks you and notalexis*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:12 am (UTC)Yeah, the bitterness isn't healthy.
Pain is getting injured. Suffering is refusing to clean or cover the wound, leaving open the possibility of infection.
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:15 am (UTC)Glad your on, trying to remember who's doing glosseth and totally brain dead, LOL. Need to send something to her via email.
help
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:28 am (UTC)HYSTERICAL
Posting an updated Treehouse and gonna have her check out the general one cause I'm missing someone for damn sure.
Hey, you wanna peak first also? Check for me?
*kiss*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:29 am (UTC)*kisses back*
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:30 am (UTC);)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-08-23 08:38 am (UTC)Because yeah, my email doesn't like the lj addresses.