butterfly | Angel - Season One

First off, I never saw Buffy as a bitch in this episode. I remember the first time I watched it and I was still so furious at Faith for what she'd done. It was tantamount to rape. She took Buffy's body. Even had sex with Buffy's body. She was planning on stealing Buffy's life and she sentenced Buffy to be hauled off by the police.

Oh, I was so much on Buffy's side during the first-run of Sanctuary.

I was so astonished when I realized that some people didn't understand Buffy's anger in the episode. "Oh, Faith's asked for help, so Buffy should just fall over herself to help." Then again, some people hate Buffy for not falling in love with a guy who tried to kill her and her friends several times, so I guess there are some things that I will never see like some people do.

Everything that Buffy feels in this episode resonates with me... still does now. Only this time, it's even worse because I've got this love for Wesley, too. I mean, I hurt for the poor guy tortured by Faith, but he wasn't my Wesley yet, so it wasn't quite the same.

Buffy came to L.A. because she thought Faith was trying to kill Angel. She found them hugging. Angel didn't even deny that Faith had tried to kill him, just said that she'd changed. Well, Buffy missed the break-down in the rain, Angel, so maybe you should excuse the fact that she finds that a little less than believable. Yeah, she probably does know that Faith was doing it a lot out of self-hate. That doesn't change what Faith did to her.

And then Angel hits her to protect Faith from her. Buffy here reminds me of Darla's incredibly hurt - "You were saving missionaries... from me." Subtext - "You chose someone else over me." No matter what, that's always going to be a blow. And to have it be someone that you absolutely despise at the moment... Buffy says that Faith made her feel like a victim. That no one else had ever done that. And I get that. Faith's theft of Buffy's body was probably the worst thing that had happened to her at that point, because she had no control at all over it. Faith stole Buffy's body, her identity, and did it in a way that tried to make sure that Buffy wouldn't have a chance to get anything back. Buffy got spit on by the Council Guys. No matter how horrible the battle, Buffy was always treated with at least a little respect by her foes once they knew what she was. As Faith, she had no respect. And that's not something that Buffy would take lightly. She would never have let anyone treat her like that, and because of Faith, she had no choice.

And then, God, Angel even doubts that she'd try to protect Faith. Doesn't he know Buffy? Even when she's with someone she hates, her first instinct is to protect. That's Buffy. She wanted Faith in a jail cell, not dead.

I wonder if that's where Faith got the idea to turn herself in - Buffy told her not to apologize, but mentioned that jail was where she wanted Faith.

And B was pretty much the only person that Faith tried to make anything up to. Not that I'm still bitter over the Xander thing.

Well, maybe a little.

...I would have punched Faith in Dirty Girls, if I were Buffy. Because she did deserve one good punch. The second, at the club, was probably too much, but I totally give her the first one.