Supernatural: more on Croatoan

( spoilers for last night's episode, Croatoan )

Personal: (Im)Perfect Daughters

So, I checked a bunch of interesting looking books out of the library the other day. One of them was called Perfect Daughters and I started it today. Well, I read the first two pages and then had to put it down so that I wouldn't cry.

It's about adult daughters of alcoholics. And even the first two pages were hitting really close to home. If you're new, you might not know that both of my parents are alcoholics. Both of them were dry for a while, but they're drinking again now (my mom recently stopped again for health reasons, but I don't know if that'll last). And it's hard. I gave up trying to play the perfect daughter when I was around sixteen (nearly eight years now) and my parents started the divorce process. And I got caught shoplifting, started cutting, stopped going to class, and was eventually diagonosed with clinical depression.

I stopped trying to be perfect, but all of the other things that the children of alcoholics tend to have common stuck around. A quote from the back of the book reads 'If you often feel isolated, engaged in self-condemnation, experience inconsistency, always want to be in control, rely heavily on others for their approval and believe that you must be perfect, you have many things in common with other adult daughters.'

( goes a bit into the mental headspace of my own depression -- warning: rocks ahead )