National Coming Out Day

[butterfly]

Related thing: still bisexual. Mom knows, though she may still think it's a phase. Dad knows, and his denial appears to finally be wearing off. Rest of family most likely knows, though I haven't done a poll. 

Unrelated thing: In the course of making a Buffyverse vid, have discovered that the show can still make me weep. And this was without sound!

Possibly related thing: I seem to have entered a period of my life where I'm more female-focused (picking up het pairings like whoa, and all of my vid ideas seem to be from a woman's point of view at the moment), which may be related to all the reading I'm doing. Or maybe I'm just watching shows that are mostly (apart from Supernatural) being particularly het. Quite clearly, I never stop having interest in either men or women, but I had a very slash-heavy period going on right before... Doctor Who started a couple of years ago. I think that Rose jumpstarted my het all over again.

But I'm reading a lot of female-written books, listening mostly to female singer-songwriters, and focusing a lot on female characters. I've discovered a love for female characters that I'd dismissed a few years ago (not just Lana, but also Willow).

Comments

[obsessive24.livejournal.com]

National Coming Out Day? Really?

[clari-clyde.livejournal.com]

I hear you on the “phase” thing. Sometimes, I think people’s attitude towards my bisexuality is, “but you’ve only dated men” when I have gone out on dates with both men and women and nevermind that straight dating is much easier because the culture and societal norms are much more supportive and understanding of it than of same-gender relations.

As for being more “female-focused,” this too I don’t think is a phase or a “period in my life.” I think I’ll always be fascinated with the female point-of-view and woman’s condition and place in society. I think this is why, even though SV’s Lois Lane, Buffy, Kara Thrace and President Laura Roslin are some of my fave characters, I also find myself fascinated by Lana and Chloe and Willow and Faith and Callie (no matter how critical I am of their actions) much more so than I am fascinated in the men. Maybe it’s because men are men whereras, with women, there’s not only the character but how tptb portray and view women. Female characters are a loaded and controversial study but these are what make it fascinating in the first place and worthwhile in the end.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

I'm reading a lot of female-written books, listening mostly to female singer-songwriters, and focusing a lot on female characters. I've discovered a love for female characters that I'd dismissed a few years ago (not just Lana, but also Willow).
That's cool! *g* I think I've got something similar going on too, though it is unlinked to my sexuality in my case. But I'm a lot more interested in female characters than I used to be, and I'm also reading a lot of female authors and listening to female singer-songwriters, so yay for girls! :-)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Indeed. The USA has been doing it for about eighteen years. It commemorates a march on the country's capital back in 1987. Makes for a good excuse for a bit of bravery.

(you could be joking about not knowing, but since there were two people at my work who were surprised at the existence of the day, I'm going with face value)

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

I hear you on the “phase” thing. Sometimes, I think people’s attitude towards my bisexuality is, “but you’ve only dated men” when I have gone out on dates with both men and women and nevermind that straight dating is much easier because the culture and societal norms are much more supportive and understanding of it than of same-gender relations.

It's annoying because there's no way to successfully argue against it. They've decided that they know your mind better than you do. Very frustrating.

Maybe it’s because men are men whereras, with women, there’s not only the character but how tptb portray and view women. Female characters are a loaded and controversial study but these are what make it fascinating in the first place and worthwhile in the end.

Such a good point. I know, when I look at the characters, I'm also always thinking, "What are they saying by portraying women this way?"

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Very much yay for girls.

Our society is so male-focused most of the time, though I do think that now is better than twenty years ago. Because of the internet and women's increasingly visibility on it, things that primarily interest women are getting more and more attention. And more and more respect, I think, as another, still valid, approach to things.

That Clark has gone from his two closest friends being male and his biggest confidant being his father (with his only real female focus on his distant and unknowable love interest) to having two female friends and his mother his confidant, especially with how they shifted, is a good sign, just in Smallville.

And the parallels here, I think, are striking. Chloe, unlike Pete, is able to handle the pressure of Clark's secret. Lois, unlike Lex, is able to accept him saving her life without becoming dangerously obsessed with him. And instead of focusing on protecting Clark to the possible detriment of others, as John Kent tended to do, Martha encourages him to embrace his heroic side.

[obsessive24.livejournal.com]

Nono, I really didn't know. I was looking at my comment thinking "that could be construed as sarcastic", but it wasn't. :D Thanks for the info. That's very nice!

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yes, it is very interesting. Clark himself reads as such a girl to me at times! ;-) He's much more at home in girl-friendships than with boys. His birthday really brought that home to me with the tragic cake. But it certainly is interesting that within the Smallville universe, it's the women who are the supportive ones with the true strength, whereas the men are competitive, aggressive and (ultimately) brittle/fragile.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Yes, it is very interesting. Clark himself reads as such a girl to me at times! ;-) He's much more at home in girl-friendships than with boys.

And he doesn't even seem to miss having male friends -- he wishes that he could still talk to Lex, but his conversations with Lex were never coded particularly male. He doesn't seem to miss having Pete around and he never seems to bond right away with new male characters. Omar called Clark's surprise party 'pathetic' or some such, but Clark himself didn't seem unhappy at all -- he actually seemed pretty thrilled. Honestly, I'd rather have a small party with the people I really care about than a larger one with people I don't know all that well.

And, oh, Lois's horrible cake that was her third try! *cuddles Lois* And it was in red, blue, and yellow. So adorable.

But it certainly is interesting that within the Smallville universe, it's the women who are the supportive ones with the true strength, whereas the men are competitive, aggressive and (ultimately) brittle/fragile.

Indeed. And Clark has really grown leaps and bounds now that the support group around him is formed of women, which I find very interesting (he's so much more Superman-eske nowadays).

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

Pfft! That Omar! Pfft! *makes dismissive hand gesture*
I agree--Clark himself doesn't seem to miss having male friends. Or large parties with fireworks. Indeed, he seems more comfortable on an intimate, female level.

I find it interesting that Smallville sustains a reading of Jonathan's influence (while alive) on Clark as detrimental/restrictive. It was also interesting to see the hagiography of Jonathan in S5 post-death. It does feel as if Clark is free to move forward now.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

Pfft! That Omar! Pfft! *makes dismissive hand gesture*

At this point, I can't even take TWoP's Smallville board seriously. They didn't like Oliver's first episode and thought that the actor was flat. I rewound his first scene twice because he was making me laugh so hard! My roommate and a friend of hers also immediately adored him. I currently have zero respect for Omar's judgment of... anything regarding acting, comedy, or... you know, television in general.

I agree--Clark himself doesn't seem to miss having male friends. Or large parties with fireworks. Indeed, he seems more comfortable on an intimate, female level.

Indeed. It's actually really refreshing (I've seen comments about how Clark should get more male friends and have to try really hard to resist the urge to talk about how Clark's a much better person without the male friends he's had in the past).

I find it interesting that Smallville sustains a reading of Jonathan's influence (while alive) on Clark as detrimental/restrictive. It was also interesting to see the hagiography of Jonathan in S5 post-death. It does feel as if Clark is free to move forward now.

Exactly -- the memory of Jonathan does Clark a great deal of good, but the actual presence of Jonathan (always the first to imply that protecting Clark's secret was more important than saving lives) held Clark back. Clark has mentioned that he wants to share his secret and whenever there's a choice between risking his secrets or risking a life, he chooses to risk his secrets. And that's the hero's choice, one that Jonathan constantly argued against.

[bop-radar.livejournal.com]

I rewound his first scene twice because he was making me laugh so hard! My roommate and a friend of hers also immediately adored him. I currently have zero respect for Omar's judgment of... anything regarding acting, comedy, or... you know, television in general.
\o/ JOY! A like-minded person! *clings*
I love Ollie! I think the actor's got brilliant comic timing and I giggle myself senseless through all his scenes. And rewind, rewind a LOT!

Exactly -- the memory of Jonathan does Clark a great deal of good
I agree. A lot of Jonathan-haters were uncomfortable with that in S5 because they were annoyed Clark was remembering a certain aspect/version of Jonathan and not the 'real' man. But that's a) normal, I believe b) constructive for Clark's development as a hero c) fascinating, imo.

but the actual presence of Jonathan (always the first to imply that protecting Clark's secret was more important than saving lives) held Clark back. Clark has mentioned that he wants to share his secret and whenever there's a choice between risking his secrets or risking a life, he chooses to risk his secrets. And that's the hero's choice, one that Jonathan constantly argued against.
Definitely! It IS the hero's choice, for better or worse. And thank goodness Clark has now had a positive reinforcing experience of sharing his secret with Chloe. Having Pete react fearfully and with jealousy was pretty scarring for Clark. At least there's a counter-balance to that now in Chloe, who's a far more worthy protector of his secret, imo.

[butterfly.livejournal.com]

\o/ JOY! A like-minded person! *clings*
I love Ollie! I think the actor's got brilliant comic timing and I giggle myself senseless through all his scenes. And rewind, rewind a LOT!

He's quite a lot of fun. And I think the actor has great chemistry with ED, which is really nice.

I agree. A lot of Jonathan-haters were uncomfortable with that in S5 because they were annoyed Clark was remembering a certain aspect/version of Jonathan and not the 'real' man. But that's a) normal, I believe b) constructive for Clark's development as a hero c) fascinating, imo.

Very interesting and true to life, I think. I had a very beloved aunt who died when I was sixteen and I am aware that I do idolize her memory to an extent, that the bad has washed away with time while the good shines more strongly.

Definitely! It IS the hero's choice, for better or worse. And thank goodness Clark has now had a positive reinforcing experience of sharing his secret with Chloe. Having Pete react fearfully and with jealousy was pretty scarring for Clark. At least there's a counter-balance to that now in Chloe, who's a far more worthy protector of his secret, imo.

Chloe's reactions have definitely helped him embrace his heroic/alien side more.