Fic: Counting Days (SG-1; Jack/Daniel)
Aug. 24th, 2004 02:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
butterflyTitle: Counting Days
Summary: Jack hadn't ever wondered what it had been like to be Sara.
Timeline: Set during S8's Icon.
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 belongs to (take a deep breath) MGM-UA, Worldwide Television, Showtime, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions, the Sci-Fi Channel and Stargate SG1 Prod. Ltd. Partnership.
The milk in Daniel's fridge had turned sour yesterday.
So here Jack was, boring himself silly at a grocery store, buying milk that he wouldn't be drinking for a guy who hadn't even had the courtesy to call to say when he'd be coming home.
He'd never figured himself for an officer's wife. He wasn't really sure that he had the constitution. He'd never wondered what life had been like for Sara when he was on a mission, because thinking that way just led to inaccuracy in the field.
Worry wasn't really an effective battle technique.
But nothing he could do was, not today and not tomorrow. All he could do was wait. Wait and hope that Carter would find Daniel's signal, somewhere in that mess of noise. Wait and see if that religious fruitcake would relax his hold and at least let them look.
So he didn't have to wonder anymore what Sara might have felt, because now he was the one living it. Somehow, it was never Daniel waiting at home for some word, some sign, some fucking hope. No, it was Brigadier General Jack O'Neill, the damn fool who kept saying 'yes'. Yes, Daniel, you can stay on Abydos with your new wife. Yes, Daniel, you can explore the universe as an incorporeal being. Yes, Daniel, you can go back to a world about to erupt into a civil war. Sure, why not? It isn't as though you might be needed here.
It isn't as though you'd be leaving anyone behind.
Sometimes, like now, when he has to remember if Daniel drinks two percent or whole milk, Jack lets himself wonder at his own utter stupidity. With Sara, they'd needed a contract and a life to tie them together. He still loved her like all hell, always would, but he hadn't shared with her. She'd been Sara and he'd been Jack. Two different people who'd loved each other and what they'd created together.
But then Daniel just was, and Jack found himself lost, sense of direction shot all to hell as he tried to make sense of terrain that had never been mapped. That maybe couldn't be mapped. His mouth opened and words slipped out, and it was only afterwards that he ever realized how much he was giving away. He'd given away so many pieces of himself to Daniel that he didn't fit together anymore when Daniel was gone.
And that was a dangerous position to be in, especially over someone in your command. And Daniel was in his command, at least theoretically, but when it came to Daniel, he'd been hopelessly compromised years ago. Long before he'd let himself admit anything more, he'd already known that Daniel was a weak point. Daniel's voice had made him live and even as early as Daniel's first death, he'd known that losing Daniel meant losing that spark all over again.
He'd fought against it, tried so hard to escape it, but when he was always the one left behind as Daniel raced forward, Jack had known that he was doomed. On Abydos, Jack had been willing, no, eager to give his life away. Daniel had saved it; he'd picked it up, brushed it off, and then tucked it away in his back pocket.
The years had passed and Daniel had kept carrying Jack's life for him. Whenever Daniel'd left, Jack had felt a gaping hole and it hadn't been missing his best friend, it'd been missing himself. Daniel died and in each death, Jack waited to get his life back. And over and over, Daniel would return, pulling Jack's life out from his pocket to prove that he still owned it.
So here Jack was, buying two kinds of milk.
And he didn't know how many more times he could stand in this aisle, but he knew that he would keep doing this until Daniel came home.
It was what made Daniel come back, having a place to come to, and Jack was content enough to leave it that way. Keeping up Daniel's life in exchange for his own was more than a fair bargain.
Because Daniel always came back. It was just a matter of when.
~fade to black~
Summary: Jack hadn't ever wondered what it had been like to be Sara.
Timeline: Set during S8's Icon.
Rating: PG/PG-13
Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 belongs to (take a deep breath) MGM-UA, Worldwide Television, Showtime, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions, the Sci-Fi Channel and Stargate SG1 Prod. Ltd. Partnership.
The milk in Daniel's fridge had turned sour yesterday.
So here Jack was, boring himself silly at a grocery store, buying milk that he wouldn't be drinking for a guy who hadn't even had the courtesy to call to say when he'd be coming home.
He'd never figured himself for an officer's wife. He wasn't really sure that he had the constitution. He'd never wondered what life had been like for Sara when he was on a mission, because thinking that way just led to inaccuracy in the field.
Worry wasn't really an effective battle technique.
But nothing he could do was, not today and not tomorrow. All he could do was wait. Wait and hope that Carter would find Daniel's signal, somewhere in that mess of noise. Wait and see if that religious fruitcake would relax his hold and at least let them look.
So he didn't have to wonder anymore what Sara might have felt, because now he was the one living it. Somehow, it was never Daniel waiting at home for some word, some sign, some fucking hope. No, it was Brigadier General Jack O'Neill, the damn fool who kept saying 'yes'. Yes, Daniel, you can stay on Abydos with your new wife. Yes, Daniel, you can explore the universe as an incorporeal being. Yes, Daniel, you can go back to a world about to erupt into a civil war. Sure, why not? It isn't as though you might be needed here.
It isn't as though you'd be leaving anyone behind.
Sometimes, like now, when he has to remember if Daniel drinks two percent or whole milk, Jack lets himself wonder at his own utter stupidity. With Sara, they'd needed a contract and a life to tie them together. He still loved her like all hell, always would, but he hadn't shared with her. She'd been Sara and he'd been Jack. Two different people who'd loved each other and what they'd created together.
But then Daniel just was, and Jack found himself lost, sense of direction shot all to hell as he tried to make sense of terrain that had never been mapped. That maybe couldn't be mapped. His mouth opened and words slipped out, and it was only afterwards that he ever realized how much he was giving away. He'd given away so many pieces of himself to Daniel that he didn't fit together anymore when Daniel was gone.
And that was a dangerous position to be in, especially over someone in your command. And Daniel was in his command, at least theoretically, but when it came to Daniel, he'd been hopelessly compromised years ago. Long before he'd let himself admit anything more, he'd already known that Daniel was a weak point. Daniel's voice had made him live and even as early as Daniel's first death, he'd known that losing Daniel meant losing that spark all over again.
He'd fought against it, tried so hard to escape it, but when he was always the one left behind as Daniel raced forward, Jack had known that he was doomed. On Abydos, Jack had been willing, no, eager to give his life away. Daniel had saved it; he'd picked it up, brushed it off, and then tucked it away in his back pocket.
The years had passed and Daniel had kept carrying Jack's life for him. Whenever Daniel'd left, Jack had felt a gaping hole and it hadn't been missing his best friend, it'd been missing himself. Daniel died and in each death, Jack waited to get his life back. And over and over, Daniel would return, pulling Jack's life out from his pocket to prove that he still owned it.
So here Jack was, buying two kinds of milk.
And he didn't know how many more times he could stand in this aisle, but he knew that he would keep doing this until Daniel came home.
It was what made Daniel come back, having a place to come to, and Jack was content enough to leave it that way. Keeping up Daniel's life in exchange for his own was more than a fair bargain.
Because Daniel always came back. It was just a matter of when.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-24 02:42 pm (UTC)Does Daniel have any idea?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-24 03:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-24 06:25 pm (UTC)And it's debatable. In third and fourth season, Daniel's miserable and clearly needs Jack. But Jack is pulling away and it is sad. Then people almost die and they think someone is dead, and Jack confides his feelings to Daniel. But Daniel is still sad, because he's been changing for Jack and doesn't like what he sees and he fights and fights against being something he hates, but then he dies. And ascends. And Jack's heart breaks and he's cold and numb until he sees Daniel again. And Jack realizes how much he needs Daniel. So Daniel comes back, and Jack knows and Daniel doesn't, not quite. But then Jack gets frozen and Daniel knows and so when Jack comes back, they both know and they love each other and... yes. And Jack becomes a General.
So Daniel has an idea, he just gets caught up in other things. He's distractable.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-24 06:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-24 07:52 pm (UTC)He'd given away so many pieces of himself to Daniel that he didn't fit together anymore when Daniel was gone.
I love this. It says so much.
Just out of interest, where do you place SG:A, 'Rising' in context of General 'Yes-man' Jack? That's one time Jack says no to Daniel leaving, albeit originally not directly to him, and Daniel going irretrievably to another galaxy is perhaps more concrete to Jack than him ascending.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-24 09:35 pm (UTC)This is lovely. You let Jack be completely Jack, just one who loves Daniel, so - quietly, somehow, like it's such a part of his life he doesn't really think about it that much, he just does his job and has faith in Daniel and goes out for milk for them both.
I love the idea that it is that simple and that much a part of who he is now. Seriously, ascension did so much for their relationship. I really think that it drove home to Jack how much he'd been depending on Daniel just being there.
Just out of interest, where do you place SG:A, 'Rising' in context of General 'Yes-man' Jack? That's one time Jack says no to Daniel leaving, albeit originally not directly to him, and Daniel going irretrievably to another galaxy is perhaps more concrete to Jack than him ascending.
Partly, I think that Jack's being a lot harder on himself than he should be. I can see that in him.
I find their interaction in Rising to be so sweet and slashy and wonderful. Because Jack does say yes at first -- "Have fun." But then he finds out that they'd need a ZPM to get there. That it would likely be a one-way trip. And he immediately shuts down the idea. When he does relent on the mission, he makes it absolutely clear that Daniel won't be going, because "I need [him] here." Just flat-out says that, which makes me all warm and giggly. He lets Daniel go off on his own in Icon only with a promise that Daniel will leave the second the situation gets hot.
You know, I don't see Jack doing that again anytime soon, because Icon really brings home just how far Daniel's definition of 'squirrely' differs from Jack's. For Daniel, it's only too dangerous to stay if the base that you're in has actually been breached and there are hostiles that are about to attack you. Jack would have had his ass out of there hours before, and so would Sam and Teal'c, for that matter.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-25 05:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-25 07:49 am (UTC)And he's such a guy, and yes, so is Jack, but Daniel's sneakier about it.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-27 06:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-08-27 07:59 pm (UTC)