Fic: A Matter of Timing (American Idol; Adam/Kris; 2/2)

[butterfly]

Part One
Saying good-bye to Kris - even for just a weekend - was something close to torture. Adam tended to wear bands and bracelets over his TiMER a lot, but he kept pushing them aside to look at it, make sure it was still blinking. He didn’t think Kris would do it like that, just get it without warning Adam first, but he couldn’t stop himself from looking.

It was worse when they got back and there was no more mansion, just single hotel rooms. And Katy being allowed to hang out in Kris’s with him. Not that Adam was- fuck, of course Adam was jealous, he confessed to Danielle. He was sleeping with someone who was married.

“How stupid is that?”

“He is pretty cute,” Danielle said, which had been her firm opinion of Kris since they’d met a few weeks ago. “Great ass.”

“Yeah,” Adam agreed with a sigh.

Kris couldn’t have told Katy yet, because she looked at Adam the same way that she always had - tolerant and vaguely amused by her husband’s affection for him. Something would have changed if she knew the truth. And there was so much to do right now, he and Kris barely had time for hellos and goodbyes.

They would have time later. On tour, at the very least.

The night before the final performance episode, Adam opened his hotel room door to find Kris on the other side looking sheepish, with his guitar by his side. Adam let him in quickly, not wanting this chance to slip away.

“I don’t actually need to rehearse anymore tonight,” Kris said, facing away from Adam, carefully setting his guitar down on the table. “If I’m not ready by now, I’m screwed anyway.”

“Kris, I-” Adam put a hand on Kris’s arm, but before he could say anything else, Kris twisted around in his arms and his fingers were brushing Adam’s cheek and Kris’s mouth was on his, hard and desperate.

It was fast and simple in the end, just two guys jerking each other off. They didn’t even bother to get undressed. But Kris kept kissing him the whole time, like he was afraid that Adam would disappear - or stop - if Kris ever wasn’t kissing him.

“I didn’t tell yet,” Kris said when it was over, directing his words at Adam’s chest. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you don’t need to worry about that right now,” Adam said. He pulled away, linked his hand with Kris’s, and led him to the bathroom, where they cleaned up with a damp washcloth. “You just worry about giving your best damn performance ever tomorrow.”

“No promises,” Kris said, walking his fingers up Adam’s arm. “Are you going to need help with your hair?”

“Come by in the morning and see,” Adam said. He looked out the door, toward Kris’s guitar. “How late is she waiting up for you?”

“They are expecting me back in a few hours,” Kris said. “Katy’s mom is here. Plus my parents and Daniel. It’s a party in my room. I said that I needed to go somewhere quiet to concentrate so that I would be ready for the show tomorrow.” He shrugged. “They’re kinda used to that. And it’s- it’s true. I-” His fingers curled around Adam’s arm. “I need this. Need you. If- no matter what happens this week, being here with you makes me feel like I already won.”

“We did,” Adam said. And then he had to kiss Kris again, lift him up onto the bathroom counter and touch him until he was hard and whimpering. He went down to his knees on the bathroom tile, made it quick and swallowed Kris down. He let his head rest on Kris’s thigh, after, and Kris’s fingers were in his hair.

“I wanna learn how to do that,” Kris said, thoughtful and maybe a little dreamy. Adam got up, gave Kris a kiss laced with come - Kris wrinkled his nose a bit, but didn’t pull away. Adam buttoned Kris back up, fingers lingering on Kris’s softened cock. Adam was half-hard again, but not painfully so, and he did want to go over his songs again, he told Kris.

Kris sat cross-legged on the bed and watched with an entranced little smile as Adam ran through his three performance songs and then his section of the medley that he was doing with KISS. Then Adam waved a hand at Kris and Kris laughed and started up his part of “We Are the Champions”.

When they were done singing, Adam had to kiss Kris again, for all the times that he wouldn’t be able to tomorrow and the next night.

“Should you head back now, baby?” Adam asked, trying to get Kris’s hair to fluff back to how it had looked before Adam had put his hands in it. “It’s after one.”

“I should probably get some sleep,” Kris said, looking up at Adam through his eyelashes. It made Adam want nothing more than to bundle Kris up and take him to bed. “I could text them that I’m crashing in your room, you think?”

“That’s probably a terrible idea,” Adam said, but damn if it wasn’t appealing.

“Yeah,” Kris said, with a bit of a pout. “You’re right. I should- I should get back.”

Adam couldn’t let him leave without another handful of kisses, but after that, Kris was picking up his guitar and heading out the door. Still a little more rumpled than when he’d come in, but mostly respectable.

After all that, Adam had a hard time getting to sleep. He was already missing Kris, which seemed like the worst kind of sign. Married, he reminded himself. And even if Kris had promised to talk to Katy... even if Kris had implied that what he felt for Adam was something real... that might not pan out, in the end. This was exactly the sort of stupid risk that he’d hoped he’d grown out of - falling for someone that was attached to someone else. But he had the horrible feeling that it was already too late to do anything about that.

He’d already fallen. Past tense.

Still, it was hard for him to think about any of that the next day, with all the rushing around and the interviews and the last-minute details that needed to be worked out. And he couldn’t think about it that night, either, run so ragged by the day behind him that he just collapsed into bed when he was finally allowed to sleep.

And then it was the last day.

Everything about it blurred in the back of his mind until it was time for the show. Lights... camera... and Kris.

There was Kris, up on that stage with him, and Adam knew. Millions of people watching them, and the only one that mattered - the only audience that really counted - was that guy, right over there.

Kris looked amazing, too, an inner glow coming out as he sang with Adam.

And then Kris won and there was a slight stab of disappointment but- oh, the shock on Kris’s face was delightful and he laughed when Adam reminded him that he was the one stuck singing that horrible coronation song now.

He wanted to tell Kris more, so much more, but it wasn’t time. And after the song, Kris was hugging Katy and it looked like- like maybe she was crying and this moment had to be overwhelming for her, too.

Life was a whirlwind for a few days, press conferences and saying over and over that he was proud of Kris and happy for Kris’s win and that they hadn’t ever been competing. Then it was over and he had a break, time enough to crawl into a hole somewhere and just sleep, and not think about Kris, who had gone off to Arkansas with his parents and his wife.

“It’s not like he can get divorced five seconds after he wins the show,” Danielle said. “How would that look?”

“He’s never said anything about getting divorced,” Adam said. “I mean... what if it was just... adrenaline? Or he just thought he felt something because we spent so much time together? Or- or maybe he is gay but he’d rather stick with Ms. Blonde Perfection and not deal with it?”

“Or maybe you’re overthinking things,” Danielle said. “Have you talked to him about any of this?”

“Fuck, no,” Adam said, vaguely horrified.

But it got him up off his ass and he texted Kris, just a quick hello. Kris’s response came about an hour later, after Danielle had left and Adam was alone in his apartment.

Hey buddy. hows your break going?

good. relaxing. Yours?

talked to katy

Adam had to take a second just to stare down at his phone, attempting to process that. But before he could respond, another text came in.

she doesnt believe me

Adam didn’t bother texting, calling Kris instead.

“What doesn’t she believe?” he asked.

“Whoa, fast,” Kris said. “Um. Well. She kinda doesn’t believe that I- she think I’ll get over it.” To his credit, Kris sounded embarrassed about that. “Um. She’s being nice about it? I’m sure she’s pissed off, because she’s being really nice.”

“That’s a sign that she’s mad?” Adam asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Kris said. “Big-time mad. Which- you know. I can’t really blame her.”

“No,” Adam said. “I guess not. What does- what’s the plan?”

“She says that I didn’t give our marriage a fair try,” Kris said, slowly. “Running off to Idol and everything. So... I don’t know. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I was... rebelling, a little. I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” Adam said, feeling like he needed to sit down. Luckily, he was right next to his sofa. “So, the two of you are still-”

“I don’t know,” Kris said. “She’s my wife, you know?”

“Yeah,” Adam said. “Look, that’s a good idea. You should- you should go and be married. Maybe that’s just what you need.”

“You think so?” Kris asked, soft. But if there was something more in his voice, Adam was too tired to hear it.

“That’s what I think,” Adam said. “I mean, we haven’t made any promises. You have Katy and I have Drake. It’s not- no burned bridges here. Okay?”

“No burned bridges,” Kris agreed.

Because burying himself in ice cream would have both been too cliché and also fattening, Adam called Drake instead, and had a no-strings night of sex that might have been cliché, but at least was exercise at the same time.

“I was such an idiot,” he said to Alisan the next day. “He’s married. He’s going to give their marriage another try. He’s-”

“Stupid,” she said. Adam opened his mouth to defend Kris, but Alisan kept talking. “What a dick! You just know that he’s going to come crawling out of the closet ten or twenty years from now, begging to be able to do as much as lick your boots and when he does just... just kick him in the face.”

“I’m not kicking Kris in the face,” Adam said.

“Well, I’ll kick him in the face for you,” Alisan said. “I think he’s short enough that I could manage it.”

“No one is kicking Kris in the face,” Adam corrected. “Or anywhere else. It’s not- he’s a good guy, Alisan. Maybe the nicest guy I’ve ever known.”

“Pfft,” she said, tossing her hair.

And when Alisan got to the point of making dismissive noises, there was really no talking to her.

Between sex with Drake and talking things out with his friends, Adam felt completely prepared to see Kris on tour. His friend Kris, who was working on his marriage and not someone that Adam was ever going to have sex with again.

Of course, that idea completely collapsed when Kris actually showed up in L.A. for rehearsal.

Because Kris... Kris didn’t act like a man who was working on his marriage. He acted like a man who was working on getting back into Adam’s pants. In front of everyone, too, and so Adam couldn’t even tell him to tone it down. And then Kris slipped him an extra room card and Adam didn’t need to look at it to know whose room it opened.

“It’s just a really bad idea,” Adam said, after he was in Kris’s room. He’d felt dirty going down the hallway, like he was Hester fucking Prynne from The Scarlet Letter. All he needed was a big red ‘A’ to wear on his shirt.

Kris looked up from where he was, sitting on the bed tuning his guitar. It was such a familiar sight that it twisted something in Adam’s chest, seeing that and knowing that he wasn’t allowed to see it every day for the rest of his life.

“I know that,” Kris said. He’d already undressed for the night - loose sweats and a t-shirt and his glasses were all he had on. He looked gorgeous. Kris tilted his head, and he was smiling again, that teasing smile from earlier in the day, when he’d been making Adam blush. “I missed you.”

“What about Katy?” Adam asked. Because he couldn’t not ask.

“Well, she was right there. It’s not like I had a chance to miss her,” Kris said. Then he looked down, fiddling with his guitar. “She’s- she still thinks I’ll get over it or get it out of my system or whatever. I told her- I told her that I probably wouldn’t. But she said... if I give things an honest try, she won’t fight a divorce if it comes to that.”

“She knows you’re flirting with me?” Adam asked, cautiously.

“She knows how I feel about you,” Kris said. “We didn’t talk about any details. She just- she asked if I could just hold off on making any big decisions right now. Because of all the changes from Idol and everything. She thinks it’s just-” he shrugged and looked away. “-I don’t know what she thinks.”

“So, you’re holding off on making any decisions right now, but you still want to have sex tonight?” Adam asked, just to see if he had everything clear. Kris winced.

“Man, that sounds shitty,” Kris said. His fingers tensed up on the neck of his guitar and then relaxed again. “I don’t- you’re right. It’s not fair of me to ask you to get involved in all this.”

And call him a complete idiot, but Adam couldn’t help reaching out to cup Kris’s chin. “Maybe it isn’t fair, but-” he leaned down and kissed Kris on the nose, just a gentle breath of a touch. “What did you tell her about... about how you feel about me?”

How do you feel about me, he wasn’t quite brave enough to ask.

Kris’s eyes were wide and earnest. “I told her that I didn’t- I didn’t expect it. But that I wanted- that maybe I loved you. And I wanted to know for sure.” He took in a shaking breath. “She- she thinks if I sleep with you enough, I’ll get over it. Sex hasn’t-” Kris’s cheeks pinked slightly. “-it hasn’t ever been a big part of our relationship, so I don’t think- I don’t think she gets how much- how different it can be.”

“And you two haven’t ever had great sex,” Adam said. It wasn’t a question. Kris’s cheeks darkened further and he looked away. But Adam still had Kris’s face cupped in his hand and he took advantage of that to press his mouth against Kris’s hot skin, whispering, “If you had, she’d know better than to give you permission to touch me.”

“Adam,” Kris said in a husky whisper.

Adam brushed another kiss against Kris’s lips, pushed him back on the bed, and slipped his hand down inside Kris’s pants.

He could hate himself in the morning.

When he woke up, Kris was still in his arms, asleep and naked and beautiful. Then Adam remembered that he was actually the one in Kris’s hotel room. He should probably be slipping out now, trying to make it back to his own room before anyone else woke up.

Instead, he stared at Kris’s profile. Alisan would tell him that he’d made a mistake - that he could never trust Kris with his heart. Danielle would tell him that it might take time and dedication, but that he should follow his instincts. Whatever was happening in Kris’s head, Adam couldn’t make it happen any faster. Any choice that Adam made had to be about what was right for Adam, not Kris.

Kris stirred, mouth quirking up in a sleepy smile. “I can hear you thinking,” he murmured, his fingers stroking Adam’s stomach. “Too early to think.”

“We should get ready,” Adam said. “More rehearsal.”

“There’s no way to make that song sound good,” Kris said, with an exaggerated wince. “Do I really have to sing it? Hurricanes and mountains and just... a load of fake-inspirational bull.”

“The perks of winning,” Adam said solemnly.

Kris laughed.

And everything was amazing for a little while. Tour was unbelievable - a rush better than being on the show, like nothing Adam could have predicted - and he and Kris stole moments whenever they could, like infatuated high school kids hiding from their parents. It was... it was crazy and wonderful and certain not to last.

It all came crashing down just a week into the tour. They’d arrived at the location in Sacramento for the day and the crew was setting up. Adam was hiding in one of the buses, nursing a headache, when he heard a faint tapping at the door.

When he opened the door, blinking against the sudden rush of light, all he could make out at first was the bright glow of blonde hair. His eyes adjusted and there she was - Katy Allen, shifting nervously on the grass in front of the tour bus. Even if Kris hadn’t told him that she knew now, Adam would have been able to tell in the way that she couldn’t quite look at him.

“Is Kris around?” she asked quietly.

“No, he’s- he’s hanging out with Anoop and Matt right now,” Adam said, leaning against the door. He was feeling the expected rush of guilt, but he was feeling more than that, complicated things that he was going to need to pick through and examine later when he was alone.

Katy was fiddling with her rings and Adam forced his eyes away from her hands. Her voice was higher than he’d remembered it, though he wasn’t sure if his memory were wrong or if it was just because she was more nervous this time. She started to turn away but she stopped herself half-way and looked toward him, her gaze falling somewhere around his chin.

“I’m not giving up,” she said. Whispered, really, but then her chin tilted up and her gaze met his. “What he’s doing with you won’t last. Kristopher will come back to me. He always does. He’s not like you.”

“I’m sorry,” Adam said, and he did mean it, as useless as it was for him to say. “I wasn’t trying to screw up your life.”

“No, you probably weren’t thinking about me at all,” Katy said. She didn’t come right out and call him selfish, but it was obvious what she was thinking - what she had every right to think. After a moment, she smiled, bright and forced. “Yesterday was my birthday. Guess what my sisters got me?”

Before he could say anything - not that he would have had any idea of what to say - she turned her arm over and pulled her sleeve up, revealing a brand new TiMER. Blinking, just like Adam’s.

“Kris is my one,” she said, her voice steady as a rock now. “I know it, Adam, with all my heart. And when he gets a TiMER, too, you’ll see. What he has with you - it doesn’t mean anything when you put it up against everything he has with me. I’m his wife and I will be his wife until the day I die and then we’ll be together again in the life that comes after. Marriage is for always.”

“Katy, it’s more complicated than that. Kris-”

“He’ll change his mind,” Katy said. “You should know enough by now to know that Kris does the right thing, by his family and by God. Staying married is the right thing for both of us. He needs to figure it out, that’s all. You’re just a temptation, Adam. We’ve dealt with temptations before, plenty of times. If you’re expecting anything more than lust from him, you’re going to end up disappointed.”

“I’m sorry,” Adam said again, and he couldn’t help the edge that crept into his voice. “I’m sorry that you married a gay man - and he is, Katy, whatever else is happening, he is - and I’m sorry that I didn’t push him away when he kissed me. But he did kiss me, not the other way around. I’ve never made him do anything and that is the absolute truth.”

“Liar,” she said, and she turned on her heel, leaving at a fast walk. Not before he noticed the fear in her eyes, though - he hated to see it, hated knowing that he’d been the one to put it there, but he couldn’t hate what it meant. Katy wasn’t as sure of herself as she pretended to be.

Adam closed the door to the bus again, making his way back to his bunk and collapsing on it as the dull ache intensified in his head.

He didn’t know how much time passed as he lay there, waiting to be called for the show. But it was Kris who came to get him, pressing a gentle hand against his forehead.

“Hey, darling, feeling up to your fans?” Kris’s voice rolled over Adam, inevitable as drowning. “You’ve got a lot of people here just for you.”

“You see Katy?” Adam asked, not opening his eyes yet.

“She found me,” Kris said. He stroked Adam’s face lightly and Adam shivered. Everything about Kris was... overwhelming. He was never ready for the way he felt when Kris touched him. Even with Brad, it hadn’t been like this. Did that mean that Kris was his one? But then wouldn’t Kris know, too? “She has one of those wrist-things now.”

Adam let out a half-strangled sob of laughter. There was something funny about all this, in a twisted way. Katy was forcing the choice. Kris had been content to let things slide, but Katy getting a TiMER... that was a weight and an expectation that all her family would likely expect Kris to fulfill now. Even Adam had been willing to take what he could get of Kris and not demand more. Katy was risking everything on an all or nothing roll of the dice. She might have convinced herself that she would win big but, even so, it was a brave move.

“Do you think I should get one?” Kris asked, but then he made a shushing sound before Adam could answer. “I just- it feels like the coward’s way out. I shouldn’t... I shouldn’t just slap a piece of plastic on and let it tell me what my future’s going to be.”

“I don’t think Katy is going to let you get a peaceful divorce,” Adam said, opening his eyes just enough to make out the shape of Kris’s face. “She thinks you’re her one, Kris. She’s not going to let you go as long as she thinks that.”

“She said-”

“Maybe she meant it at the time,” Adam said. “Maybe she just always figured she’d get you to agree with her. She made it sound like that’s happened a lot before.” It wasn’t quite a question. “You said that you planned to give your marriage another try, back when you were in Arkansas. You keep- you keep changing your mind.”

“No matter what I do, I break someone’s heart,” Kris said. He leaned forward, his cheek pressing against Adam’s hand. “Maybe everyone’s. Before Idol, it always seemed like no matter how fast I tried to run, I was always stuck in the same place but now- now I couldn’t stay still if I wanted to.”

“Do you?” Adam asked.

“My mama wanted me to wait,” Kris said, softly. “Wait another year or two, she said, before getting married. But I figured - I figured there wasn’t any point in waiting. Katy didn’t want to get left behind and I... I didn’t want to disappoint her again.”

“I’m not disappointed,” Adam said, and he felt Kris’s relieved sign more than heard it. “Coming out- making the choice to let everyone know that you’re different- it’s hard. I know that. I didn’t want- I don’t want to force you to do anything you aren’t ready to do. But Katy... Katy just wants to know that her husband loves her and that he’ll be with her for the rest of her life. And if you know that you can’t do that... she deserves to know, too.”

“I never have managed to live up to her expectations,” Kris said and there was a world of weariness behind the words. “She always told me to try harder. That she’d give me another chance to make it up to her. It’s what Jesus would do, after all.” The slightest hint of sarcasm flavored Kris’s words.

The door to the bus was slammed open before Adam had a chance to respond, and the other guys poured in, chattering loudly and then quieting down at a sharp word from Kris.

“Sorry, man,” Matt said. “Still got that headache, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Adam said, closing his eyes again. “I’ll be fine for the show, but I really need to rest until rehearsal.”

When the rest of the guys left to go talk to the fans who’d gathered before the show, Kris went with them.

Adam closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Things stayed a little calmer for a while after that, especially after Katy went back to Arkansas again. The needy heat of those first few days settled into a slow burn. Adam never got to touch Kris as much as he wanted to, but they were together as much as they could be and still stay safe.

Kris made... not promises, but wishes. He told Adam all the things that he wanted to do, to have, to be. Adam could feel Kris’s fear behind his words, sharp like acid in the back of his throat. That’s what he tried to work on, unraveling Kris’s desires and fears, piece by piece - taking them out and exposing them to the light. Adam wanted - he wanted to be that safe place for Kris, wanted to be the person that Kris could trust. He wanted to know about the boys that Kris had been terrified of wanting at fourteen. He wanted to know why Kris hadn’t even dared to experiment when he and Katy had been broken up - so worried that it would get back to his church and his family, that teasing would become mocking and then hate - and why Kris had gotten back together with her. Every new piece of himself that Kris shared, Adam wanted.

In return for what Kris told him, Adam shared secrets back - his insecurities about life and love, exactly how much it had hurt to see Brad’s TiMER start its countdown, his fear that he would die without ever finding his one. He tried to be as honest as he could manage while still not pressuring Kris.

It wasn’t always easy. Adam spent hours on the phone to Danielle, Alisan, and his mom - the three people that he’d always trusted with this particularly volatile secret - trying to figure out how to keep himself from drowning in Kris’s needs, to not ignore his own. Alisan was good for bluntness and for being the least concerned about Kris as a person; Danielle best for cheerful encouragement. And Adam talked to his mom when he wanted to talk to someone about Kris’s marriage. He needed all of them just to keep him sane, some days, and they were all people that he could count on to keep quiet about Kris.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” he asked his mom one night. It was a hotel night, but Anoop had claimed Kris’s company before Adam had gotten a chance to, and they always tried not to be too obvious (though Kris would probably sneak in a couple of hours after Anoop left him alone). “He’s married. He’s always been married, as long as I’ve known him.”

“Do I wish you weren’t putting yourself back into the closet-”

“I’m not-”

“Are you sure about that, sweetie?” She laughed a little. “I like Kris, you know that. I don’t like that he’s the reason that you can’t be as honest with the world as I know you’d like to be. I wish that you two would have waited but- I know things got crazy for everyone on that show. In situations like that, bonds form that maybe wouldn’t have otherwise. I don’t know, Adam. Do you honestly think that you can stay away from him until he’s divorced?”

“Well, not right now, obviously,” Adam said. “After the tour is over... it might be easier. We’ll both be so busy. It might all fall apart anyway, once we’re not always in the same place.”

“Is that what you think or what you’re afraid of?”

“I wish I knew,” Adam said.

But most of the time, all of them were just enjoying the high of performing every night. Adam had already gotten close to most of the contestants, but the tour seemed to bond them all even more. He’d felt like this before, in successful shows and plays, but he’d never had as many people in his audience as he did on this tour. It made it easy to forget the outside world - to forget everything except the present.

Fifteen days after Katy had laid her challenge down, the tour made its way to Little Rock. The day of the concert started out pretty stressful for Adam. Katy would be there, of course, and so would so many of Kris’s family, friends, and his church. Kris’s parents liked him, but he knew that Kris hadn’t told them the truth, so that made the idea of seeing them a little nerve-wracking, even as he did look forward to it. The concert itself was fantastic - Little Rock was a great crowd for all of them, not just for Kris - but then it was time for the after party.

Katy had arrived along with a whole group of her friends and Kris’s but also with a woman with a briefcase and a professional smile who didn’t quite fit with the rest of them. Adam watched as Kris made his way over to them. When Kris reached her, Katy grabbed his hand and said, in a voice that cut through the room, “Guess what, Kristopher? The TiMER office agreed to let you fill out the paperwork and get implanted right now. They sent out a field officer and everything! Isn’t that wonderful?”

The lady with the briefcase held her free hand out toward Kris, who shook it with a numb expression on his face.

“Hello, Kris. I’m Tamara. We at TiMER are always pleased to deliver a happy ending,” Tamara said with a well-practiced smile. “Your Katy has assured us that the two of you are a classic ‘high school sweetheart’ love story.”

Kris just stood there a moment, and then he gave Tamara a quick smile and pulled Katy away from their group of friends. He said something to her quietly and her words were just as soft, but Adam could see their knuckles whitening slightly from their grip on each other. Katy looked up, meeting Adam’s eyes, and there was a bright flush on her cheeks. Tamara waited patiently until Kris turned back to her.

“All ready?” she asked cheerfully. “I would like to remind both of you that there are no guarantees that HSS is your story. Now if you’ll follow me to a table, I can get set up. It’ll take a moment, but that’ll give Kris time to look over the paperwork and disclaimers.” She opened the briefcase and pulled out a sheaf of papers that she held out toward Kris, who took them silently, tugging his hand free from Katy’s. He started to flip through the papers as Tamara set up her equipment. Adam knew from his own experience that they didn’t need a lot of room.

Adam made his way through the crowd so that he could stand next to Kris. “You don’t have to do it right now,” he said, quietly. “We can think of an excuse.”

Kris looked around them at the crowd that had gathered after Katy’s announcement, then he looked at Adam and he smiled - small and hesitant, but real. “No,” he said. “I think you’re right. This is the only way she’ll ever believe it.”

Kris stepped forward to the table and borrowed a pen from Tamara, signing his name. He handed her the papers and then held out his wrist, palm up. Katy was standing on the other side of the table, her hand wrapped around her own TiMER. Adam resisted the urge to touch his.

Tamara readied the new TiMER, prongs sticking out so that it would easily go into Kris’s skin, and then she pressed it down and into his wrist. After she pulled away, Kris visibly shivered. It would feel similar to getting a piercing but with a sting that reached down more deeply through skin and into muscle.

A moment passed and Adam held his breath, waiting.Then he remembered the most important part and he looked at Kris, hoping with everything in him as their eyes met-

chime-chime

Two TiMERs went off.

Adam closed his eyes, almost boneless with relief. He’d been right. He’d been right.

Kris was his one.

---

Eight months later:


“We’ll meet you at the airport. Yeah, Adam will be there, too.” When Kris said his name, Adam looked up at him with a smile, though he was quickly distracted again by Bowie squirming back into his lap. Kris continued his phone conversation, though Adam was only half-paying attention, busy pushing Bowie’s nose out of his face. “Yes, you’ll get to meet the puppy. He’ll slobber all over you soon, I promise.”

Kris dropped down on the floor next to Adam and then Bowie - the traitor - abandoned Adam’s lap for Kris’s, whining a little as he pushed his head against Kris’s chest. Adam reached over and stroked his hand over Bowie’s ears, the fluffy pale fur plush against his fingers. Bowie turned and licked Adam’s hand, earning instant forgiveness. “Tell Kim I said ‘hi’,” Adam instructed.

“Adam wants me to tell you that you need to bring cake with you,” Kris said with a sly grin. Then he nodded and his face got a little more serious. “It’s fine, mama. By the time I get that legal sh- stuff fixed, I’ll have so many songs to put on my next album; it’ll be great.” Adam tugged Kris close to him, pressing a kiss against Kris’s ear even as he kept petting Bowie. Kris leaned against him, letting his weight rest on Adam as he kept talking. “She did? That’s good to hear. All right. Yeah. See you soon. I love you, too. Bye now.”

Adam reached up and brushed his fingers against Kris’s chin, encouraging him to turn so that Adam could kiss him, comforting and deep. He knew that Kris was putting on a brave front for his mom - the management struggles with 19 and Idol that had begun after Kris’s TiMER had so publicly gone off for Adam had put a lot of stress on both of them at times. With the label not willing to put any money or time into Kris’s promotion, his first single had died almost before it had gotten to air. Kris sighed into the kiss, clinging for a moment when Adam pulled back again.

“I promise that it won’t always be like this,” Kris said, pressing a brief kiss against Adam’s cheek. “Just as soon as we get things worked out with everyone, I’ll be able to start pulling my own weight.”

“Have I been complaining?” Adam asked lightly. “Like you said, we’ll work it out - if nothing else, your contract will run out in a few years and you’ll be able to sign with someone who won’t screw you over.”

“Ah, the bright side,” Kris said. He smiled quickly, then turned back to Bowie, burying his fingers in the light yellow fur. “It’s been worth it.” Kris spoke quietly, almost to Bowie. “I wouldn’t want to go back to hiding, no matter how easier it might make my career.”

“Even if neither of us can ever play in Arkansas again?” Adam asked.

“Well, they didn’t officially take a day away from you, so you might be okay,” Kris said wryly. He shrugged, pressing a kiss to the top of Bowie’s head. “I’m just glad that none of it backfired on you.” Kris said it so casually, but Adam would never forget the way that Kris had taken all the blame on himself and deflected it away from Adam. Might as well save one of our careers, Kris had said. And mine is fucked, at least for right now.

“Now you’re the one looking for the bright side,” Adam said. Bowie wriggled out from between them, his big paws getting in his own way as he went for his water dish. After Bowie picked himself up from his tumble, he proceeded to drink with loud enthusiasm. “You’ll tell me if things get too hard, right - no macho tough-guy stuff?”

“Not sure I’m tall enough to pull off ‘macho tough-guy’,” Kris said. “Having Bowie around is helping more than I expected. It’s... it’s nice to be able to take care of something, at least.” Kris paused, then added, “Oh, bit of good news from Arkansas.”

“Yeah?”

“My mom saw Katy last week - her TiMER started counting down. Less than two years, apparently,” Kris said. “That’s got to put her in a better mood for the rest of the legal stuff, right - knowing that her someone is out there waiting for her?”

“Let’s hope,” Adam said. “One day, they’ll probably have instant divorces available for TiMER mismatched couples.”

“As more and more people get TiMERs, everything’s going to change,” Kris said, shifting himself over so that he was straddling Adam’s thighs. Adam put his hands on Kris’s hips, tugging him even closer. “The whole world and how we all think about love.”

“Good or bad?” Adam asked. Kris bit down on his lip for a moment.

“I’m not sure. It didn’t- the TiMER didn’t make me fall in love with you.” Kris said, certainty in his voice. “It just made it easier to prove and... impossible to hide. How can people continue to deny us rights when the TiMERs show that some men are just destined to fall in love with other men and some women with women?”

“Are you thinking of becoming an activist?” Adam asked.

“Well, it would give me something to do,” Kris said. “I can’t spend all my time writing.” Bowie chose that moment to fall into his water dish, knocking it over with a clang. “Or taking care of Bowie.”

Bowie slunk back over, looking hilariously put-upon by the world. He lay down next to them, head on paws.

“I don’t know; that one might be full-time.” Adam scratched gently behind Bowie’s ears. “I think it’s a great idea,” he added more seriously. “The TiMER might end up being something that could really help out. Especially as time goes on and TiMER-mated couples end up staying happy together. 100% success rate so far.”

“It hasn’t been that long,” Kris said. He kissed Adam’s cheek. “But, yeah, I can’t imagine it being wrong. At least not in our case.”

“They were testing it for years before the official release,” Adam said. “All the test couples are still together. I, uh, looked it up after the thing with Brad, because I was hoping that it would end up being bullshit.”

“If the TiMER didn’t exist, do you think you would have still been dating Brad when we met?” Kris asked.

“I guess there’s no way to know,” Adam said. “He was... he was starting to get restless anyway - that’s part of why we got the TiMERs in the first place. If the TiMER hadn’t been an option, I don’t know how much longer we might have lasted before he realized that I wasn’t the one for him. I don’t know if I would have figured it out before- well, before-”

“Me?” Kris said it in a way that was half-way between shy and smug. Adam figured that, in a few more months, Kris would have gotten used to how completely Adam adored him and the shyness might be gone then. Or maybe not; it was pretty cute. "You think even if you’d still been with Brad...”

“Yes,” Adam said, wrapping his hand around the back of Kris’s neck and tugging him close. “I think I would have fallen in love with you no matter what. If we’d met when you were forty with two-point-five kids, I think I still would have fallen for you. I... this is it for me, Kris.”

Kris closed his eyes and just breathed with Adam for a moment. “Yeah.”

Years later, marriage and adoption would become possibilities, but the commitment itself - everything that he would have promised in a wedding vow - Adam knows that it happened right then and there, on the floor of their living room.

end