I like seeing the writers work it out and give us concrete reasons these people become close friends and/or begin to feel romantically about each other. I want to be involved in the process, otherwise it's hard for me to get emotionally invested.

Exactly. And I've been able to get emotionally invested in both Stefan and Elena as individual characters, but not so much as a couple. It feels like they raced past all the building blocks of the relationship, so it feels unsteady/unreal to me.