Well, we are shown pretty strongly that being "in love" with Rose makes the Doctor act like a git towards other people, you might've noticed - be they Martha, Mickey or any random person who came aboard. So yes, there is this notion being put forth that "in love" is More Special than other sorts of connection.

Hmm. I don't know. He was a pretty big git to Barbara and Ian in the beginning, too. It's not like this is a new side to his character.

Besides, saying "he loved everyone but was in love with Rose" doesn't make it better when I think he was also in love with Romana/Jamie/Jo/Susan's grandmother and so on. And fans are entitled to that opinion too.

Sure, but I don't come into your journal to tell you that you believing that the Doctor was in love with Romana is destroying the show, so I don't think that the situations are entirely comparable.